I'd first like to apologize for my leave of absence. I have been moving around a lot lately - I've only just realized that I really should start staying in once place.
I got back from the United States yesterday. Before spending 9 days there, I had lived consecutively in France for 6 months. Half of a year. A lot of time. The beginning, as most of you may know, was hard. Home suddenly became ideal. I had forgotten how much I loved it, because it had been so normal and consistent. I longed for home. I missed the sun & the weather that never goes below 50. I missed having my own bathroom & a stand up shower. I missed English My family. My friends. My bed. But eventually, that all changed. This slowly became my normality. France became my life. The images of home and everything that I was used to gradually ebbed away. The longing for familiarity, if not gone, was completely numb.
My blessed and lucky life was only just brought to my attention upon my latest visit home. Where I live is incredible, I can't believe I ever took it for granted and let myself forget. My family & friends are amazing, the weather is gorgeous all of the time, the beach is moments away, I have my own bathroom, my bed that I've slept in for years, my cat, my family, my mom, familiarty. Fondness for my home came as soon as I touched down at LAX. Home is beautiful, home is comfort, home is home. Nobody where I am from seems to realize it. I used to want so badly to get out of Laguna Beach, CA and find some "culture". How was I ever so blind that I didn't see Laguna's culture? It may not be what you would picture a culture to be, but it has one. Culture isn't just walking the streets of Rennes with a cigarette in hand. The beach seems to be something you drive by every day when you live there. But it becomes a gem when you haven't seen it in half of a year. I thought the inhabitants were superficial, but getting the chance to have genuine conversations with random people that I'd never met before on the street changed my mind.
My time at home passed too quickly. I felt so happy being in such a familiar place. I honestly felt like I never left - I simply picked up my California life where I had left it. I feel so blessed to be able to call where I live(d) home. I'm lucky that I have an amazing mother (hi mom!) and family... I'm incredibly lucky to have friends who will always be there to welcome me home with open arms. I'm now back in Rennes: jetlagged, unable to sleep, and also pretty content to be in my other home. I still have a little more longing for home as I just left (not to mention that my home is amazing). But this longing is less than the first time. I think it gets easier every time you leave. That's either terrifying or reassuring... I'm not sure which one.
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