At least once a day, I find myself looking at my little countdown application on my phone. I've got all of my important dates there: Days left to the US (14), 18th birthday (43), end of SYA (97), graduation (120). They're my little slivers of hope. They're proof that bad days pass, proof that "it goes on". I always try to have something good on the horizon... It's my way of getting through life. It is so much easier to get through difficult days, projects, classes, and situations when you've got something good in your future.
Most of the time it seems like time goes by painfully slow. Especially when you stare at the countdowns. For some reason, though I have the days left in my planner and though I checked yesterday, I look at how many days there are until one of my next endavors. Every day. Surprise surprise, the number moved from 15 to 14. What a wonder. I think it's my form of comfort - always something coming.
Though I am pained by the amount of time it's taking for 14 to get to 1, I'm constantly surprised by how fast the days pass. It's incredible. You get home at 5, and suddenly it's 23:59. I woke up 15 hours ago. I don't even know what I did with those 7 hours.
I talk about the absurd rate time passes with someone every day. Everyone feels it. "How is it already 8:00 PM???" How have we suddenly arrived at less than 100 days left here? How is it that I turn 18 in approximately a month and a half? It recently occured to me that the song One, Two Step by Ciara came out when I was in third grade. Third grade. 2004. 10 years ago. I can actually see myself trying to impress the boys in the lunch line with my knowledge of the lyrics. Has that much time really passed? My mind can't comprehend that decade.
Ok. So time feels like it's going a million miles a minute. What does that mean for me? What does that mean for all of us? It's impossible to let ourselves just sit around and not take advantage of the time that's drifting away; unused, unimportant, and forgetable. I'm too guilty of curling up in my bed around 2:00 PM on a Wednesday. I feel like we've got to seize the time we've got - I have always felt this way. Never waste the opportunities you have, you never know when you'll get the chance to do it again. Talk to someone you've never talked to before, say yes to every invitation, go out even if you're tired - we can sleep another time. Try something new, eat whatever you want, say how you feel, follow what your instincts are telling you to do. Do what you want. Right now none of us have time for insecurities and apprehension - only time to experience.
In short, and in the words of every single person on the planet ever, "carpe diem." But actually.
Comments