I like to categorize myself as an introvert. I'm not one to thrust myself into unknown situations with unknown people. For me, being an introvert means cherishing alone time. I just enjoy being alone and having my thoughts and time all to myself. It isn't that I want to be antisocial, but there's something I find comforting about being alone in a sea of people.
Today I woke up feeling pretty okay for the first time in a few weeks. This was a success. I didn't have the gnawing feeling I dread, I didn't want to roll over and pull the covers back over my head. Instead I got up, and thought "What am I going to do today?"
Because I love being alone, I really enjoy hanging around my house and watching movies. This is what I've been doing for the past 3 days of my Toussaint vacation. Today I decided to do something else. I got up, I picked up some stuff from school, and then ventured out into town on my own.
I have never done this before. I always find it better to be with one person when I'm out in town because if I make a faux pas I can turn to someone and laugh with them. But I was tout seul today. I got on the bus. I put in my headphones. I wandered around. I went to the SNCF boutique and got my train card, I went to the bus billeterie to imquire about bus tickets for a last minute vacation information and was complimented on my French.
Throughout this entire day, I have not felt awkward. I feel content. Normally people's prying eyes (like the 4 French girls' eyes who are glaring at me in McDonalds) scare me away. But not today. Today I've held my head high and wandered around town with the comforts of Smokey Robinson, Oasis, Empire of the Sun, and Aretha Franklin in my ear.
While I sit and take advantage of McDonald's free wifi and watch people laugh obnoxiously and talk, I am happy that I'm alone today. It was just what I needed to recharge.
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