Just fix it.

Disclaimer: A bit ranty.

I have a really hard time feeling bad for people who complain all the time. There comes a point in a person's complaints where I just stop listening. I stop trying to offer solutions and my insight into the person's situation or problem and go silent. I have my fair share of complaints, but one of my family members once told me that I complained too much and told me to stop, so I shut up and now keep my complaints to a minimum. 

Today while at a café, my ears were plagued with someone's complaints. It wasn't even the person's I was sitting with. Ironically enough though, it was an American girl. We were sitting at our favorite place - Brasserie de la Paix - enjoying a coffee after lunch. (It's our usual regime now, the waitors now smirk when we sit ourselves down outside.) We picked a table toward the left of the outside area, far enough to observe the passerby's on their way to the metro or bus. About three or four tables over, a distance far enough for a normal conversation to be just out of earshot, was an American girl. I had a hunch that she was American when I glanced at her, but didn't think anything of it until I heard her talk. Her loud voice carried over from her table and allowed me to hear everything that she was saying. 

Had this girl been speaking about something positive, she might not have irritated me. But all she did was complain. She complained about France. Complained about classes. Complained about her host family. Complained about her friends. Complained about her family at home. Complained about her decision to study abroad. I wanted to get up and smack her. The person she was talking to seemed so understanding and calm, I didn't understand how he could stand it. This girl was rude and pathetic. The man tried to offer suggestions, but his advice just opened up another door for another complaint.

As I listened to this girl bitch about an amazing opportunity, I was able to identify with some of what she was saying. Studying abroad is hard. It's not easy getting up and leaving everything you've ever known for a foreign country. In fact, it can actually really suck sometimes. But there are ways to make it better, and there are most certainly ways to keep your experience from being shitty. It's all about putting in effort - you get what you give. This girl, from what I could tell, was making no effort to make the experienec better for herself. And I did not feel bad for her. 

We all know that person who complains and does nothing about their reason for complaint. It starts out with one. You offer a bit of friendly advice, and then they shoot down your opinion and move into another facet of their original grouse. Then they start justifying their original complaint with that complaint. And then you try again to offer advice, and they shoot that down. So you give up and silently submit to the role of quiet listener, but eventually stop listening. 

Sometimes I snap and tell people to stop complaining. I'll let them know that I can't stand listening to their whining and tell them to fix their problem.

If something sucks so badly that you want to explain it to any available pair of ears and annoy them to a point of silence, it's time to do something about your problem. Fix it. You're capable. Stop acting like a child and make things better for yourself - channel some optimism, meditate, look for the answer to your problem. Stop sitting around and wallowing in your self pity. If you do something about it, you'll feel a lot better about your life and stop annoying the people around you. 

Comments

[Mom]

Well said Punkin!